Considering Swinging? Explore Commonly Asked Questions for Newbies

Entering into the world of swinging certainly brings about a number of questions that curious couples want to know. Because communication is key—especially for lifestyle newbies—we’ve compiled some of the most common questions asked by those considering the swinger scene.

Q: How do vanilla couples first bring up the conversation about being swingers?

A: In general, those who ultimately become swinger couples have had an interest in exploring the scene before the conversation even begins. However, one partner tends to bring up the topic in a loving and honest way. If both parties are on board, let the good times begin!

Q: How do new lifestyle couples find other swingers?

A: There are many swinger websites dedicated to connecting potential playmates. Some people attend parties, events or swingers cruises or bars to meet like-minded lifestyle couples.

Q: At swinging parties, will I most often see the same people or new faces?

A: Most swingers environments tend to have a mix of newcomers and familiar faces, so the selection of partners remains broad for those looking to keep things interesting. Test out a few places and events to see what suits your fancy the most.

Q: Is there any usually jealousy at swingers parties and events?

A: While most lifestyle couples have a strong relationship and set boundaries concerning behavior related to swinging activities, jealousy can rear its head every once and awhile at gatherings with unfamiliar possible playmates.

Usually, when the green-eyed monster makes its presence known, it is caused by insecurity and should be discussed by the partners experiencing jealousy. The best way to handle this reaction is to cease participation in such engagements to prevent the situation from becoming explosive and have that talk ASAP.

Q: How often do swingers ‘play’ versus being intimate with their primary partner?

A: Honestly, this can vary from couple to couple. Some only dabble with others on occasion, while others may participate much more. Long-time swingers claim that there are ‘on’ months and ‘off’ months. Most importantly, couples need to set their own rules about frequency of playtime with others to find out what works best for their relationship and time availability.

Q: What is the sex life of most swinger couples with their primary partner?

A: Most swinger couples have what is considered a routinely ‘normal’ sex life when they’re not engaging at parties or meeting with others in the lifestyle. Many keep their relationships strong and trusting with special weekly ‘dates’ just between themselves to keep the fire burning at home, as well.

Use Resources to Get More Information for Newbies

In closing, there are plenty of resources that can answer all of your questions about swinger couples and what to expect. Books, podcasts, and online blogs are excellent places to discover information before moving into swinging.

HOW TO GET OVER SWINGING JITTERS FOR FIRST-TIMERS

Tonight’s the big night. You and your spouse are dressed to the nines. You’ve got your location picked and maybe even a nice bottle of bubbly on hand to set the mood. Yes, tonight’s the night you and your spouse…

Top 3 Reasons Why Swinging Works

With the openness of the internet, swinging has moved from the underground into more mainstream territory. While swinging clubs and parties have always existed, joining them or asking questions has …

Does Swinging Curb Cheating in Lifestyle Relationships?

In the realm of the swingers lifestyle, there can be several concepts of ‘cheating’ and many swinger couples don’t consider playtime as such. The lifestyle is very different for every couple, but for the sake of this post we’ll define cheating and establish whether or not swinging is a potential curb check for such behavior. … Continue reading Does Swinging Curb Cheating in Lifestyle Relationships?→

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How Porn Can Improve Your Sex Life

While not all of us are willing to admit it publicly, we like porn. We really like porn. According to one study, 79% of men and 76% of women watch it at least once a month.

Whether watching alone or with a partner you met on AshleyMadison.com, porn can enhance your sex life, open your mind to new activities, and even improve your relationships. Being a little voyeuristic can have big benefits.

Get to know yourself

Porn is a great way to figure out what you like—and don’t like—in the bedroom. It’s difficult to tell a partner how to please you if you don’t, ahem, know yourself. Porn allows you to explore your sexuality in a safe, comfortable way. Watch videos or read erotica that features boundary-pushing scenes and take note of how you feel. If something turns you off or makes you uncomfortable, you’ve found a limit and you can communicate that to partners. To browse porn discreetly, use your browser’s Incognito Mode – or clear your history cache after each session.

Get geared up

It’s no surprise that watching sexy things onscreen can make people more interested in having sex. According to a study by the University of California, watching pornography can lead to higher sexual responsiveness. Whether watching solo or with a partner, porn is a great way to get your libido going.

A Danish study found that both men and women who watch porn reported more satisfaction with their sex lives and better attitudes regarding sex. In fact, they reported even more positive attitudes associated with more hardcore pornography consumption.

Get educated

Watching sexy scenes can be educational if you find the right clips. When you’re looking to improve your technique, who better to teach you than the experts? There are all sorts of videos aimed at helping men and women become better lovers, and many feature actual couples with realistic bodies. You won’t be taught positions that require gymnast-like flexibility, but you will pick up some tricks that are sure to impress your partner. You can even watch it together and try things out as you go.

Get closer

Watching porn together can help break down any barriers to communication about sex. If you’re watching and you see something you want to try, it’s easier to speak up than trying to explain the act without the help of such visual aids.

A study by Ann Summers, a British sex toy and lingerie store, found porn brings couples closer together. “Couples who watch porn together at least once a week reported being more committed and sexually satisfied than those who watched porn together less frequently or not at all. Fifty-eight percent of women who watched porn with a partner said that it had a positive effect on their sex life—over half said that it gave them the confidence to ask for what they wanted in bed.”

Get de-stressed

We all feel a bit overworked and stressed out from time to time. Porn can be a great alternative to your typical stress-relieving rituals. A study from Carnegie Mellon University found men’s stress responses were halved after simply looking at softcore imagery. In another study, women reported using porn to destress.

Get (the right) content

By now you know we think porn is great (and hope you do too!), but where you get your porn matters. There is a whole movement around ethical or feminist porn, that ensures that people are paid for quality content. Feminist porn also often involves more realistic portrayals of bodies, relationships, and sexual acts that focus on all parties’ pleasure.

If that’s something that turns you on, here’s how to shop for more ethical porn:

Avoid clip sites. Piracy is one of the largest issues in the adult film industry. If you’re not paying for those clips, chances are the actors aren’t being paid for that view either. Performer Jiz Lee has said, “The only time I’ve felt exploited through porn is through piracy.” If you enjoy watching Brazzers, for example, it’s best to go direct to the source.
Get to know the performers. Many performers have their own websites where you can buy from them directly. From superstars like Joanna Angel to smaller names, some even offer personalized content for contributors or subscribers. You can follow many of them on social media, where they’ll help direct you to ethical porn options.
Don’t judge a book by its cover. BDSM and porn that plays in the arena of consensual non-consent is often hypervigilant in consent. A little research into the studio will tell you if the porn you’re watching is ethical.

Whatever your reason for watching porn, it can have a positive impact on your sexless marriage.

If you’re looking for someone who shares your appreciation of porn and is into affairs, hookups and fantasy, explore online at AshleyMadison.com.

About Ashley Madison
Ashley Madison is a world-famous dating community that helps facilitate cheating in 47 countries. Our site attracts non-judgmental people looking for extramarital affairs, hookups and fantasy. Download one of the married dating apps today, and start your quest.

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5 Reasons Why There’s Never Been A Better Time To Start Married Dating

Out with FaceTime dates and Zoom Booms—  it’s “hot vax summer”! Social distancing puts people out of touch with many pre-pandemic practices like sex and dating but as the world reopens, people are bouncing back. With everyone finally getting out, meeting new people, and trying exciting things, there’s never been a better time to start married dating. If you’re still on the fence about a tryst, here are five reasons to jump at the opportunity. 

1. You’ve Been Vaxxed And Waxed

You probably spent most of 2020 bored, alone, and regretting every time you turned down plans before the pandemic. With vaccination rates soaring and lockdowns finally lifting in many places, the world is your oyster. If you’ve been vaxxed and waxed, why not get out there and experience some normalcy? There’s never been a better time to spice up your life, so make your 2020 self proud by saying “yes” to an extramarital fling.  

2. Excuses, Excuses 

Lockdowns were tough for everyone, but especially for people living in close quarters. If you’re married or have kids, you spent much of 2020 longing for some “social distance” of your own. Finally, things are re-opening and that means one thing for two-timers: plenty of excuses to get out and see your affair partner. Take advantage of being able to go to “the gym” or “brunch with friends.” Your spouse won’t suspect a thing. 

3. People Are Feeling Extra Frisky

Over a year of isolation and subpar marital sex has stirred up people’s sexual appetites. With 35% of our members saying that their biggest post-lockdown fantasy is multi-person sex and 62% already having better sex than they were before the pandemic, it’s safe to say that the data points to a raunchy summer for cheaters. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty by trying out a threesome or public sex. You’ll make our members’ wildest dreams come true and have fun while doing it. 

4. It’s The Golden Age Of Dating

Everyone in the dating world is putting themselves out there. So much so that some have dubbed this period the “golden age of dating.” With that said, it’s never been easier to spark an affair. Eager daters are extra responsive. 43% of people say that they’ve seen a decrease in ghosting since the pandemic. You can also look forward to some exciting dates. After a year of socially distanced picnics and awkward walks, your date will want to take you somewhere special. Don’t miss out!

5. You Deserve It 

Whether you’re a frontline worker or an unhappy spouse, it’s been a stressful year. Unfortunately, as you try to relax, you may find that bubble baths and Netflix aren’t enough. After a year of uncertainty and worry, you deserve to unwind no matter what it takes. 84% of our members consider having an affair a form of self-care and we recommend that you try it out.   

Take it from us, it’s time to get back into the world of married dating. If the pandemic taught us all one thing, it’s that life is short. Have an affair.  

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